“If anybody has ever built a campfire, if you imagine you have this big log that you want to catch fire because they wanna build a big campfire, you have this big log, you just hold a lighter or a match underneath it, nothing will happen, right? It's way too big.
We just start with something easy, the tinder, the paper, then add our little sticks, our kindling on top, and we kind of layer it up.
So it's the same thing when you wanna connect with someone. You can't just jump in with like, "Hey, how do you wanna be remembered when you die?" Great question, but if that's the first question you ask, it's not gonna work.
So we need to start slowly, and then layer by layer peel back the onion to really get to know each other.”
From this episode, you’ll know:
👉 How introversion can be a leadership strength, not a weakness.
👉 Why relationship-building is a long-term investment, not a tactic.
👉 Why success today means helping people feel less alone.
Choose the best platform to listen to this episode:
Connect with Jan and Yurii here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jankeck/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/yurii-lazaruk-community-consultant/
💬 From Shy to Seen: How Jan Keck Turns Awkward Silence into Real Connection
“Relationships travel at the speed of vulnerability.”
– Jan Keck
When I first came across Jan, I knew this wouldn’t be just another episode about “facilitation techniques” or “leadership frameworks.” Jan doesn’t do surface.
He’s a people-loving introvert, a TEDx speaker, facilitation trainer, and the heart behind the upcoming book Ice Melters — but more than anything, he’s on a mission to help people feel less alone and more seen.
And that’s exactly what we explored in this conversation.
🌱 The Invisible Kid Who Craved Connection
Jan grew up in Germany feeling like a shadow.
“I was the guy who sat next to you in math class… and years later, you’d completely forget I was ever there.”
He describes having butterflies in his stomach anytime a teacher was about to call on someone.
Shyness made him shrink. But his craving for connection never disappeared.
So he started joining sports clubs, summer camps — even politics. Slowly, courage grew.
“It was scary. But putting myself out there became the only way to stop feeling invisible.”
That early experience planted the seeds of what would become his life’s work:
🧩 Designing experiences that help others feel like they belong.
☕ Colombia, Canada, and Coffee with a President
Jan’s story isn’t just about soft skills — it’s about wild stories, too.
He once performed a lip sync battle against his wife at their wedding.
He once shared a coffee with the Colombian president (yes, really — the parade literally stopped so the president could join him at a café).
And he once took his cat canoe-camping. Enough said.
But perhaps the most important adventure came when he moved to Canada in 2008. Despite the surface-level friendliness, he struggled to form deep connections.
It took 8 years to find his community.
His people.
🔥 The Ice Melters Philosophy: No More Cringey Icebreakers
Let’s be real. Most icebreakers suck.
“They’re often just cheesy activities that put people on the spot, without building any real trust.”
That’s why Jan created the concept of Ice Melters — an experience design approach rooted in trust, warmth, and gradual vulnerability.
He compares it to building a campfire:
🪵 You don’t light a giant log with a match.
🔥 You start small — with paper, then kindling, then sticks — and slowly, you build the fire.
It’s the same with humans.
You don’t ask “What’s your biggest trauma?” as an opener.
You ask something human, light, and real — and layer from there.
✉️ Writing a Book With a Community (and Never Missing a Week)
When Jan started writing his book Ice Melters, he didn’t lock himself away in a cabin.
He invited his community into the process.
Every Monday, for over two and a half years, he’s sent a newsletter sharing pieces of the book — asking for feedback, inviting edits, building in public.
“I’ve never been this consistent with anything in my business life. Not even close.”
Now, as the book nears completion, he admits feeling almost… sad.
“This rhythm, this connection with people — it’s become part of my life. I don’t want it to stop when the book ends.”
Spoiler: it won’t. (He’s already thinking about Book 2.)
🧠 Trust Isn’t a Tool, It’s a Practice
We talked about leadership, too — and how many leaders get it wrong.
“You don’t need better meetings. You need braver ones.”
Jan believes facilitation is not about structure or software. It’s about creating brave spaces — where people are willing to take interpersonal risks, because they feel safe.
His work teaches leaders how to shift meetings from boring PowerPoint marathons into trust-rich, human spaces where people connect, contribute, and grow.
And his secret?
💡 Ask good questions. Create reciprocity. Build slowly.
As Jan says: “You can’t force belonging — but you can design for it.”
💌 Connection as a Long-Term Investment
Something else we dove into: building relationships at scale, without sacrificing depth.
Jan has over 10,000 followers on LinkedIn. He gets messages constantly. So how does he respond?
“I don’t want to send shallow replies. That means I can’t reply to everyone. But I do carve out time every week to respond to a few, thoughtfully.”
He also uses asynchronous video tools to reply — giving people a personal touch, a face, a voice. Because, as he said:
“If someone takes the time to message me, I treat it like a friend texting me. I reply.”
That’s the kind of care that builds trust over time, not just in a campaign.
🎯 Feedback as Fuel
One of Jan’s most powerful practices?
He screenshots every kind message, comment, or email — and saves it in a folder on his desktop.
“Whenever I doubt myself, I go through that folder. It reminds me why I do this.”
It’s a habit more community builders and creators should adopt.
Because business isn’t just numbers. It’s people. And people leave breadcrumbs of encouragement — if we’re willing to see them.
🌄 So What Makes Jan Truly Happy?
“Being out in nature. Sunrise at a Canadian lake. A canoe. My family. A campfire. Conversations like this one.”
There’s a reason Jan’s metaphors are all elemental — campfires, rivers, mountains. His work might be digital, but his soul lives offline.
❤️ Final Takeaway: Connection > Conversion
This episode reminded me why Humans of Business exists in the first place.
Because business starts with a human.
And when we invest in connection — real, slow, deep connection — that’s when magic happens.
As Jan said:
“I don’t teach people to be louder. I teach leaders to be more human.”
And in today’s noisy world, that’s exactly what we need 💛
